a parallel.

Sometimes people ask me about this "change" in my life. The change that is supposed to happen when one becomes a believer, but for me didn't happen til many years down the road.

Sometimes people ask me, "what in the world happened to you?" I think they look at me and think back to the way I used to be. Like I said in one of my previous posts, my life and dreams look a lot different than they did when I was a 16 year old girl. It's hard to believe that the girl who once slammed a classmate up against a locker while cussing her out is the same girl that's planning to be a missionary in Thailand. (Yikes. How much work the Lord has done in my life!)

But, seriously. What in the world happened to me?

Sometimes it's hard for me to put to words. Sometimes it's hard to explain how my life really has changed for the better, even though it seems like the call of Christ means giving up so much.

But then I discovered something that would maybe help illustrate the change inside of me. A parallel.

All I have to do is look at my brother and sister-in-law with their baby girl, Leila.
Their lives have changed drastically because of this little miracle.

For example...
Their curfew has changed. 7 o'clock is the new time to be home because that's when Leila needs to go to bed.

Topics of conversations have changed. Whether it was figuring out Leila's eating schedule, how to get her to sleep through the night, what new things she's discovering this week--I'm pretty sure those were things they never cared to discuss before being parents.

Weekend plans have changed. Now it's trips to the zoo, walks to the park, and restaurants with booster chairs.

Every day life has changed. Bath time is now a favorite part of the day. (I'm hoping that wasn't the case before Leila...)

Responsibilities have changed. No longer can they think just about themselves, but they are now responsible for loving, taking care of and raising this little girl. Life, their plans, their dreams are not about them anymore. All those things now take Leila into account.

Because of their deep love for Leila, a lot of things have changed. To an outsider like me, a lot of these changes seem like pretty big sacrifices. Even though I melt whenever I see my little niece, the life of a parent isn't exactly the most appealing thing. There are many times when I think to myself, "Man, if I had a baby right now I wouldn't be able to take my 2 hour trip to Target." That sounds quite pathetic, but it's true. I guess I'm still too selfish. I want to be able to do my own thing, when and how I want.

You see, I just don't "get it". I don't understand a mother's love quite yet. I don't understand how waking up in the middle of the night to a crying baby is "privilege" and how mom's take so much joy in something that is so sacrificial.

But Matt & Aimee do. If you ask them, despite all the sacrifices and changes their lives have undergone in the last year, I am positive that they would say that it has been their greatest JOY. That loving Leila is easy and that they don't even think twice about all they have given up because they know all that they have truly gained.

And I guess that's where the parallel comes in. Walking with God, allowing Him to change you, your priorities and your heart is a lot like becoming parents. To the outside world it looks like you are giving up a lot--your freedoms, your past life, your time--but to you, it's a natural thing that you absolutely delight in. Yes, there will be struggles along the way, both in your walk with the Lord and as your children grow up, but it's worth it.

Matt & Aimee have shown me that parenting is worth it. I want to show others that knowing God is worth it.

Knowing this parallel, I am excited to experience parenthood at some point in my life. I know that it will stretch me and challenge me, but I also know that it will show me in a new way how much God truly loves me as His child.