obedience OVER sacrifice.

"Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice." 1 Samuel 15:22

I've been chewing on this verse for the past month or so. To obey is better than sacrifice...what does that mean? And why is obedience better? Doesn't God love sacrifice? Doesn't He call us to live, love and spend ourselves sacrificially?

I didn't get it.

The verse just didn't sit well with me either. For some reason it kind of felt like a BIG slap in the face. And here's why.

Lately, I can't stop thinking about the sacrifice. It's all around me, everywhere I look. As we get closer and closer to Thailand, the sacrifices get bigger and bigger. It seems like they're constantly in my face, almost screaming at me.

When Steven and I are at our support meeting with grandma and grandpa Sauder and grandpa Sauder starts crying. When he tells us, through his tears, that his true desire is for us to come back and take over the farm... Sacrifice in my face.

When I tell my grandpa, my most favorite person in the whole world, that we'll be gone for 3 years and don't plan on coming home. When he shakes his head with sadness and tells me in his low, gentle voice, "Lauren...I miss you every day. Don't go..." Sacrifice in my face. (insert crying here)


When I see this beautiful face. Knowing that I won't see her grow up and that she probably won't know her Auntie Lauren and Uncle Steven... Sacrifice in my face.

When we are raising support for everything--our income, our insurance, our housing, our food, our transportation, our clothing--and letting go of our comfortable jobs... Sacrifice in my face.

When I see all my friends having babies and knowing that expanding our family is not something we will be doing for quite some time... Sacrifice in my face.

When I drive by that perfect yellow house with white shutters and a big porch, telling myself that I may never even have a house someday... Sacrifice in my face.

And when I think about boarding the plane. The plane that will take me half way around the world--away from my mom, my dad, my grandparents, my family, my friends, my comforts, and all that I love--my heart starts to hurt, big tears start to fall and the overwhelming sacrifice is right there, in my face.

That is why I've been chewing over that verse for the past month and why it's felt like such a big slap in the face. What do you mean, God? How can obedience really be better than sacrifice? Don't my sacrifices mean anything?

But then it hit me.

Sacrifice is all about me. Obedience is all about God. Sacrifice is giving myself glory. Obedience is giving all glory to God. And maybe that's why.

Maybe that's why God desires obedience over sacrifice.

Because with sacrifice comes entitlement. It's almost as if I thought God now owed me something because of all that I was sacrificing for Him. Wrong. It doesn't work that way. And when I stopped and thought about it, I had basically been telling God "If I give up all these things, Thailand better be awesome. You better bless everything we do and You better make all this worth it." What a great attitude, huh?

When God called Abraham to sacrifice his one and only son, he radically and whole-heartedly obeyed. He didn't mull over the HUGE sacrifice God was calling him to make. He just did it. Abraham knew that it wasn't about him, but that it was all about serving and following God. Abraham knew and lived obedience over sacrifice.

And so I'm learning. I'm learning to ask God to change my mentality. To help my heart know that it's not about the sacrifices I am making. Yes, they're hard. Yes, they're still a reality. But I need to have a more "it's not about me and all about Him" mentality. I'm learning that I'm no one special or super-spiritual just because I'm going to Thailand. I'm learning that I'm just obeying the Word of God and going where I know He has called me to go. Simple as that. I'm learning to see my self-righteous and self-indulged attitude as deep sin and asking for forgiveness and a new selfless focus. I'm learning about obedience.

My "sacrifices" were just my way of childishly complaining all the way to Thailand. But I don't want to be that child. I just want to be His little one that simply follows her Daddy's voice.

it's just a little thing.

It's just a little thing, it's just a little thing.
But it will make a change, it will make a change.
See His Kingdom come in every small thing done.

Words to one of my favorite songs, The Kingdom, written by a dear friend.

Those lyrics touch my heart every time I listen to them. They're simple words. But simple words with deep meaning and encouragement. It gets me thinking and moving every time.

It's just a little thing, but it will make a change. These are words I regularly need to hear as I often become paralyzed by the task at hand. It's just hard for me to look at the world, its hurting people and overwhelming corruption, and not be discouraged. And because of this, there are many times when I don't want to go to Thailand. It's when I'm reminded of how engraved sex-trafficking is in its culture, when I read that 95% of its people are Buddhist and less than 1% Christian, when I see our missionary friends getting kicked out of the countries they've devoted so much of their lives to, that I ask myself, "what's the use?" It's at those times where the task at hand feels so big, so heavy, so unchangeable.

But then I'm reminded. It's just a little thing, but it will make a change. Maybe going to Thailand is just a little thing. Maybe we won't see the end to sex-trafficking, maybe the statistics won't change, maybe we'll get kicked out. But maybe, just maybe, I'll befriend one prostitute and share with her the unconditional love of her Savior. Maybe one Buddhist family will come to know the Way, the Truth, and the Life through our interactions with them. Maybe we'll leave a lasting, eternal impression on a few people's hearts and souls before we have to leave. Maybe all the little things we do while we're in Thailand will make a change. Even if it is small and seemingly insignificant, it's still an eternal change for the Kingdom. And well, it doesn't get any bigger than that.

For all the pessimists out there that don't yet fully believe in this "little thing" philosophy, here's a real life example. It's a video of 4 children that were forever changed through ordinary people who decided to do just a little thing. Usually I'm not a big proponent of "$1 a day will feed this child" kind of videos, but this one is different.

It's different because I know 3 of the children in the video.

They're dear friends. They're brothers and sisters in Christ. And they're my classmates at Moody.



What amazes me about their stories is how much God worked in their lives through someone back in the States. Their sponsors are ordinary people, like you and me, who just decided to do a little thing. I often wonder if they knew what a big impact they would have.

And what really hits home is seeing that Richmond, Tony & Michelle's lives weren't changed through the money their sponsors gave, but rather through the letters their sponsors wrote. Change is personal. Personal connection is what touches our lives and moves our hearts. It's what changed my 3 friends' lives. And it's what can change others and maybe, in return, even the world.

Writing a letter to a child in Guatemala is just a little thing. There are millions of little things that we can be doing for the Kingdom. But the question is, are we actually taking the time out of our busy schedules to do them? Let's not be paralyzed and overwhelmed by the world, let's just be faithful to the little things and believe God for big changes.

It's just a little thing, it's just a little thing.
But it will make a change, it will make a change.
See His Kingdom come in every small thing done.

*If you want to sponsor a child through Compassion, visit http://www.compassion.com/

a paradigm shift.

4 years ago, something happened. Something so monumental that it altered the course of my life. In all reality, it was actually something quite small, yet so incredibly effective. A tiny change that led to a radical paradigm shift in my way of thinking, feeling, and living.

I started reading the Bible differently.

That's all. (Sorry to disappoint all you 34 followers out there.)

Without really realizing it, I had spent most of my life reading the Bible as a "self-help" book. If I was having a bad day I would look for something in Psalms to cheer me up.
Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Thank you God. Quiet time, done.)

If I needed forgiveness, I'd go anywhere in the New Testament.
Colossians 1:13-15 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. (Thank you Jesus, I feel much better now.)

If I needed some encouragement, I'd flip around until I found something to my liking.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me. (With Jesus on my side, I can do anything! I'm the King of the world!) Okay, so maybe a slight exaggeration there, but you get where I'm going.

And if you don't mind, I'd like to take you on a further journey of what I discovered once I stopped reading the Bible as my self help book. I learned that God's Word doesn't revolve around me. It's not something I read to feel better about myself. But rather, it's something I dig into so that I can understand my God better. It's something that God has used to reveal Himself to me so that I can fall in love with His character and purposes. It's ALL about Him. And NOTHING about me. Radical paradigm shift.

I realized this as I was exposed to this thing called 'The Biblical Basis for Missions'. It took me on a wild exploration that led me to see that the Bible stories I had learned growing up extended way beyond my selfish implications of them. It showed me that God was on a mission, from the beginning of time, to see His name be glorified throughout the world. It begged me to stop asking the question of "what is God's will for my life?" and instead start simply asking, "what is God's will?". Many of you have heard Steven and I talk about this shift in thinking, this amazing journey, this radical paradigm shift. But to those of you who haven't, I hope you enjoy the ride of seeing that it's not about you, but all about God and His name being made great among all the world.

Bible Story #1: David & Goliath
1 Samuel 17:50 So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him.

My self-help book interpretation: Just like David, as long as I have faith, I can slay the big giants in my life too.

Paradigm shift: David says to Goliath,"This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head...and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel." 1 Samuel 17:46
(Ooooh, the purpose behind God using David to defeat Goliath was so that whole world would know of Him and His great power. Hmmm.)

Bible Story #2: The 10 Commandments

My self-help book interpretation: God gives me these commandments to obey so that I can be a good person and go to heaven.

Paradigm shift: In regards to the 10 Commandments, Moses says "Observe them carefully, for this will show your wisdom and understanding to the nations, who will hear about all these decrees and say, 'Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people.'" Deuteronomy 4:5-6
(Ooooh, the 10 Commandments are so that the whole world can see and know God through the way we live our lives. Hmmm.)

Bible Story #3: Daniel & the Lions Den
Daniel 6:22 Daniel answered, "O king Darius, my God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, O king.

My self-help book interpretation: As long as I trust God, He will save me from the dangers and enemies in my life.

Paradigm shift: Sometimes I just need to read a little further...
Daniel 6:25 "Then King Darius wrote to all the peoples, nations, and languages that dwell in all the earth: "...I make a decree, that in all my royal dominion people are to tremble and fear before the God of Daniel, for he is the living God, enduring forever...He delivers and rescues; he works signs and wonders in heaven and on earth, he who has saved Daniel from the power of the lions."
(Ooooh, God saves Daniel not only because of Daniel's trust and God's love for him, but also so that all peoples, nations and languages would know God's reputation and name. Hmmm.)

Do you we see a pattern here? But wait, there's more...

Bible Story #4: Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace
Daniel 3:26 So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

My self-help book interpretation: God loved Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego's loyalty and heart towards Him and saved them from destruction. If I align with God, He'll have my back too.

Paradigm shift: Daniel 3:29 "Therefore, I (Nebuchadnezzar) decree that the people of any nation or language who say anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego be cut into pieces... for no other God can save in this way."
(Ooooh, God saved them so that the king would spread God's name and fame to all peoples and nations. Hmmm.)

Bible Story #5: Solomon and his wisdom

My self-help book interpretation: God made Solomon wise because he asked for it. If I ask God for things, He'll bless me with them.

Paradigm shift: 1 Kings 4:34 "Men of all nations came to listen to Solomon's wisdom, sent by all the kings of the world, who had heard of his wisdom."
(Okay Lord, I'm starting to get it...)

And here was the real kicker for me. This one verse, Psalm 67, sums up this small but major change in my life.

Bible Story #6: Psalm 67
Psalm 67:1 May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine upon us...

My self-help book interpretation: Literally, heard this verse my whole life in church. God, bless me! Be gracious to me! Make your face shine upon me! It's all about me, God...didn't You know?

Paradigm shift: Let's read the verse in its entirety...
Psalm 67:1-2 May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine upon us, so that Your ways may be known on earth, Your salvation among all nations.
(Ooooooooh, you mean God blesses me SO THAT I can bless the nations? The blessings aren't just for me to keep because God loves me? Hmmm.)

I could go on forever. Don't worry, I'll spare you. But the list does go on, and you check it out for yourself. (Psalm 33:13-14, Psalm 46:10, 86:9-10, 96:3; Isaiah 11:9-10, 49:6, 52:10, 61:11; Jonah 4:11, Habakkuk 1:5, Zephaniah 2:11, Haggai 2:7, Zechariah 8:20-23, Malachi 1:11)

So as this paradigm shift began to take way, naturally my relationship with the Lord began to change. I started to see Him, His Word, and the world through a new pair of eyes. My new outlook began to shift from constantly looking inward at myself, to a fresh upward and outward focus. It revealed God's heart for the world and His desire that all people know Him.

This small shift in how I read my Bible eventually led me to where I am today. It was a quiet, yet constant invitation to something beyond myself.

Read God's Word differently. In the process of seeking Him deeper, it will inevitably change you and bring you to places you never dreamed you would go.