Back to the Basics.

I am a child of God.

Yes, I, a broken girl once dead in her sins, am a child of God.

Sometimes I need to stop and just revel in that truth. The truth that the infinite, all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving, creator God calls me his daughter. As mothers and fathers love their children, so this God of the Universe loves me as one of His own.

I am a child of God, the King.

Woa.

The sad part is, most of the time I am so busy trying to work out my salvation that I lose sight of this. The reality is that it is easier for me to do things for God rather than simply bask in the beauty of being God's.

And lately, I have felt God calling me back to this simple truth that I am His and that being His is more than enough. I have felt God calling me to take a break from trying to figure out how to "best serve" Him. To stop my attempts at winning His approval. To put aside what I think I need to do to be a "radical" follower of Jesus. To let go of all these empty pursuits and instead, revisit the foundation of this journey with Him. To simply remember that a relationship must come before service.

God, in His tender and loving way, has been calling me back to the basics.

I think it started with this whole "radical" kick I've been on. And while I still believe in Christ's "sold out, sell everything, deny yourself" calling, I started to realize that I was being consumed by it rather than being compelled to it.

There's a big difference.

Being consumed by it led to obsessing over what I was or wasn't doing for God. It quickly became a tug of war within my heart of how much was enough. Going to Thailand wasn't enough. Selling everything wasn't enough. There was always something more I could, or should, be doing.

And so, I was constantly failing. Never feeling good enough. Always feeling restless.

And I started becoming bitter.

Bitter at the world for making it so hard to die to self. Bitter at myself for falling short. And bitter at God. For giving me this impossible task of living in the world, but not of it. For convicting me to the point of guilt and shame. And bitter, so very bitter, for feeling like I had to earn His love.

It wasn't until I returned to the basics that I saw how I had twisted God's love for me into something conditional. Returning to the basics made me realize that I had let my actions dictate my relationship with God rather than the Gospel.

And here it is.

The basics: The just and loving Creator of the universe has looked upon hopelessly sinful people and sent his Son, God in the flesh, to bear his wrath against sin on the cross and to show his power over sin in the Resurrection so that all who trust in him will be reconciled to God forever.

That's it. When all is stripped away--the politics, the legalism, the hypocrisy, our self glorifying actions--when all of our sinful junk that we've attached to "religion" or Christianity is no more, we are left with this basic truth of the Gospel.

The basic truth that God has done it all. His love is perfect and His grace is sufficient. I have been reconciled to God forever and there's nothing I can do to take away from or add to it. No action of mine, however radical, will change the fact that I am His child and forever His beloved. His love for me is complete.

This is where freedom is found. When living in light of the Gospel, we experience a freedom to serve God out of His love for us. When living in light of the Gospel, we are compelled, not obligated, to give up all things to be more like His Son.

Before the basics, Thailand was about loving people and winning souls to Christ. Living in the basics, Thailand is simply about becoming more like Jesus. Bearing His image and glorifying God through His redemptive work within me.

So simple. So basic. Yet so radical.

Reversed thinking.

I won't be long-winded today. Aren't you thankful? :)

Just came across this video that I had to post. The thing I love about it, besides its awesome creativity, is the honest truth behind it. It brought me back to the way I used to think before Christ reigned in my life. The way I thought before God reversed my thinking.

It reminded me of the life-altering, 180 degree change in mind, body and soul that happens when you choose Christ. The world looks different, your purpose changes, you old self is put to death as we are washed clean and made a new creation in Him. It's quite amazing. Quite a miracle, actually.

And so...

Praise God for our new hope and life in Him.

Praise God for when our flesh fails, we are caught by His abounding grace.

Praise God for His rich mercies as we turn from our perverted and worldly thinking.

Praise God for reversing all things. For reversing our thinking, our way of life, our entire beings.

And most of all, praise be to God for reversing the consequences of sin and death by offering eternal life through His beloved Son.

To Him be the glory and honor and praise forever. Amen!

Hot Hesed!

It was one of the first things I learned about Steven's mom.

She makes the best salsa.

And so, you can imagine my excitement when she asked me to make it with her this year. Like my grandma's tamales, this salsa is a deep act of hesed. Not only is most of it grown from her own garden (something so foreign to us city-folk), but the entire process takes alllllllll day. No joke. We started at 2 and I left "early", before everything was done, at seven.

Steven excitedly asked me when I came home what I'd learned and when I'd be making my next batch. And while I wasn't exactly sure when my next salsa extravaganza would be, I did learn a few things. I learned that my mother-in-law is not just the best at making salsa, she's pretty great at a lot of other things too.

She's a great communicator. She's a great listener. She's a great worker, always running around doing big and little things for anyone and everyone. She's a great teacher, always directing others back to Jesus and His Word. She's a generous woman with a big heart for people. And basically, she's the best mother-in-law I could have ever asked for.

I knew all these things before we made salsa together, but it's always nice to be reminded of God's goodness in your life.

All in all, by the end of the day I not only learned a whole lot about country cooking, but I was also blessed to spend a wonderful afternoon with my beautiful mom-in-law. Good food, good company. It doesn't get much better.

Margie's Homemade Salsa :)

Fresh tomatoes from the garden. Washed and ready to go.


Put the tomatoes in boiling water to steam.


You boil them until the skin "pops" like this...


Once the skin "pops", it'll come right off. No tomato skin in salsa is allowed!


Rough chop the tomatoes--til you reach 16 cups!


Put the huge pot of tomatoes over the stove on medium heat. And start adding the flavor! A whole bundle of cilantro (Even though lots of people hate this flavor, you cook it enough that it's not too strong. It just adds a little kick.)


Onions.


The rest of the characters. Corn, beans (lots of em!), tomato paste.


Oh! Can't forget the jalapeno and cayenne peppers! (The Sauder boys always complain that the salsa isn't hot enough, so we left in all the seeds this time)


YUM. Gotta let is boil for a bit so the salsa thins out.


Add some canning salt and some sugar...


Then it's on to canning!


Put the jars in a big pressure cooker--with a little bit of water.


Then you just gotta wait. Wait for it to go all the way up to 15 lbs. Once it does, then you adjust the temp so it stays at 15...and then slowly goes back down to 0. (Margie says you have to wait til it hits 0 or else the lids will NOT seal and you'll want to punch yourself for wasting so much time.)


Finally time to take em out!


Leave them on a cooling rack and viola! THE BEST SALSA IN THE WORLD :)

Thank you, Walmart.

There I was. Hanging out in the book aisle of Walmart, just wasting some time by myself. (Wow, do I sound cool...) Anyway, after perusing all the food magazines, I turned to the books--particularly the Christian book section. Not thinking I was going to come across anything too exciting, my eyes were drawn to this little orange book.

Radical. Taking back your faith from the American Dream.

Sounded interesting. I took it off the shelf. But before I sat down to read it, another book caught my eye. This one was a little more flashy, with a boisterous title.

It's your time. Activate Your Faith, Achieve Your Dreams, and Increase in God's Favor.

I was confused. I knew both were Christian books, yet both seemed to be saying entirely different things. One encouraging me to take back my faith from the American Dream, the other telling me to activate my faith by achieving my dreams. How could these two books be representing the same faith?

And so, with both books in hand, I plopped down in the middle of the aisle and started reading. Two different books with two very different agendas, both claiming to represent the same Gospel message. Needless to say, I was very intrigued.

"I could not help but think that somewhere along the way we had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable. We were settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves." -Radical.

"God promises your payday is on its way. If you'll learn to be a prisoner of hope and get up every day expecting God's favor, you'll see God do amazing things. You'll overcome every obstacle. You'll defeat every enemy. And I believe and declare you'll see every dream, every promise God has put in your heart, come to pass." -It's Your Time.

"We are starting to redefine Christianity. We are giving in to the dangerous temptation to take the Jesus of the Bible and twist him into a version of Jesus we are more comfortable with...A Jesus who brings us comfort and prosperity as we live out our Christian spin on the American dream." -Radical.

"A global recession has forced many to postpone their dreams and cancel their plans. You may have lost your job. You may have lost your savings, maybe even your home. It could be that you have health concerns or relationship problems. Maybe you are frustrated because it's taking so long to get where you want to be in your life. Yet now is not the time to talk yourself out of your goals and dreams. Now is not the time to get discouraged. You may think, as I did climbing that trail, that you're not even halfway there. You may feel you have so far to go. But the truth is, you don't know. Your dream may just be up around the corner. You may think it will take another two years. But if you stay in faith, who knows? It may just be two more months. You are closer than you think. I believe it's your time." -It's Your Time.

My head was spinning. As I went back and forth between the two books, my emotions were all over the place. One minute I was fired up about losing everything for the sake of gaining Christ, to not be fooled by desires of this world. The next I was being comforted that my dreams of owning a big yellow house were actually okay and that God wanted to give me such earthly blessings.

One minute I was believing in a self-denying faith. The next, in a self-indulging one.

And I felt like God was calling me out. Of all places, right there in the middle of Walmart.

You see, I blog about a self-denying faith. Because I truly believe that's what Jesus calls us to. And while there are moments that I would like to think that I obey His higher calling, these moments are too far and few between.

In all reality, the majority of the time I live a self-indulging faith. Even though I know it's disobedient, unbiblical and purposeless. I buy into the christianized American Dream and really do live like "it is MY time" far too often.

I'm such a hypocrite.

And I began to see my hypocrisy play out in a vision. I started picturing and wondering, what if Jesus came back and simply observed my life from an outward perspective? What would he see? Would he see a radical disciple who has given up security, money, convenience, and even family to follow Him? Or would he see a sell-out? A fake? A dirty prostitute who whores herself after every desire of this world?

The thought and humbling truth of the vision sent shivers down my back and tears down my face. I imagined Jesus spitting me out of his mouth. I imagined Him saying, "You are radical in words, yet lukewarm in your actions. You have gained the world, but have forgotten me. My child, I wish I knew you."

Ugh. The things you learn in Walmart. If I would have known my ugliness and hypocrisy were going to be called out like that, I would have never walked down that aisle. But there I was, learning tough truth in the most unexpected of places. I hate, yet love it when God does that.



Lord, help us. We do not know how to live a life of radical faith. We have made your calling cheap and easy. And a lot of the time, we don't care. Show me how to live and believe according to your Word, not by the world around me. Raise up examples of what You expect of us. Show me, forgive me, teach me, mold me. Help me, this blog, my life, not be a hindrance to the Gospel, but a way to show people that You are worth more than whatever this life has to offer. Help me, Lord Jesus. Help me take back my faith from the American Dream.

What a beautiful God.

Phew! It's been about a month since I've posted something, but man, what a month it's been! We have successfully moved out of our place in Oak Park and transitioned to life on the farm! While we've been busy with wrapping up one life in Chicago and starting a new one in the country, we also have been having a little fun. :) Amazingly, Steven and I were allowed to take a 2 week vacation to the West Coast this past month. God worked out every single detail to allow us this time to relax and rejuvenate. We started in San Diego and drove up the coast all the way to Seattle...Steven driving the entire way. :)

But this post isn't about our vacation. Or about how we're transitioning to a new life. It's about our beautiful God. Something we couldn't escape as we made our way along Highway 1.

I was telling someone the other day that our trip felt like being in a constant state of worship. How could it not looking at God's overwhelming beauty all around us? It made me think of His power, His creativity, His everlasting hesed. It made me feel small, yet entirely significant that the Creator of all of this could love little ole me.

Because words just wouldn't do, I made a little video of pictures from our trip accompanied by one of our favorite songs that we liked to sing while driving. I pray that you can marvel at how breathtaking, enormous and beautiful our God really is as He expresses Himself through all creation.

Like the morning fog.

What is your life?
For it is like the morning fog.
It is here for a little while,
then it is gone.
~James 4:14

With the passing of Steven's friend this week, we've been thinking about this concept a lot.

Our lives are like the morning fog.

As Steven and I sat in the revival service for Jordan on Tuesday, I think this idea hit us hard. To see this young man's life come and go so quickly, it was a hard yet necessary reminder that our time here is short. And only what is done for eternity will last. Naturally, this question kept running through my head...What are we doing with our limited, finite, like-the-morning-fog lives?

And why are we doing what we're doing?

We go to work, we're involved in church, we have good community, we love our kids. All good things, but if we are honest with ourselves, they're all pretty comfortable things too. Yet we itch to do more for God, we pray about it in Bible Study, we say we're going to be more influential in our every day lives. But when it comes down to it, we end up doing nothing. (Steven and I have been living and feeling this way for the past two years now...)

So why do we end up doing nothing? Is it because we're lazy? Insincere? Scared? Maybe. I'm sure I've been all of the above at some point in my life. But sitting at the funeral, I was hit with what I think is at the core of all of this: We live complacent, boring and comfortable lives because we value our lives here on earth way too much.

You see, we actually love our lives. We love the comforts. We love the security. We love having family close. We love being able to plan our lives and see it come to be. And because of that, we miss out on so much that God has called us to.

So many people wait for a calling from God. They think He needs to write something out in the clouds, send a vision or "speak" to our hearts. And if this "calling" doesn't come, well then we just keep on living our lives the way we, deep down, really want to.

People tell us all the time that they love that we're going to Thailand, but that they just haven't been "called" to "missions". Most of the time I politely nod and agree, but I am always left confused. Steven and I feel like we haven't been "called" either. We got no note from God in the clouds. We had no vision. We didn't hear the Lord speak to us in a loud booming voice.

But, we know that there is 1 Christian worker for every 200 people in the United States. And in Thailand there is 1 missionary for every 50,000. We know that we are overloaded with the Gospel, with Christian books, with sermons, with varying churches to fit our own styles. And we know that there are people in the world who have never heard the name "JESUS". We are convinced that God's heart is for the whole world to know of His love, grace and redemption plan. And we are saddened that there are people, cities, countries who have no idea.

That's our calling.

On the car ride home from the funeral, Steven and I were talking about our fleeting lives. How we've been reminded that our time here is like the morning fog. Quick to appear, quick to fade. The concept is so simple, yet entirely complex. It's far too easily ignored, yet if taken seriously could be life-altering.

With tears running down my face, I just turned to him and said, "Why wouldn't we go to Thailand?"

He just smiled at me and said, "My thoughts exactly."

This whole idea reminded me of a poem I once heard. It's written by one of the greatest missionaries of all time, C.T. Studd. A man who considered his life like the morning fog, yet completely worthy of the calling.

“Two little lines I heard one day, Traveling along life’s busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart, And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet, And stand before His Judgement seat;
Only one life,’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, the still small voice, Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave, And to God’s holy will to cleave;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, a few brief years, Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;
Each with its clays I must fulfill, living for self or in His will;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

When this bright world would tempt me sore, When Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way, Then help me Lord with joy to say;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Give me Father, a purpose deep, In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e’er the strife, Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Oh let my love with fervor burn, And from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone, Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, “twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Now let me say,”Thy will be done”;
And when at last I’ll hear the call, I know I’ll say “twas worth it all”;
Only one life,’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last. ”

Through the pain...

...will my faith remain?

Through the pain, when I don't understand His ways, and when giving up and giving in seems so much easier, will I turn to my God and seek His face? Or will I crumble with the world around me and blame Him for it all...

For quite some time now, I have had this feeling that God is preparing me for something BIG. And by BIG, I don't mean something new and exciting. By BIG, I mean something life-altering, heart-wrenching, and tragically-unexpected. (Not to be a complete "Debbie Downer" or anything...) But sometimes I feel like I am in the process of being built up so that I can be prepared to fall...and fall well. After all, it's bound to happen at some point. And when it does, I want to be found faithful. I want to be able to suffer well.

Below are two examples of families whose faith remains. They are ordinary families who are living extraordinary lives. Not only because of their incredible strength, but because they are seeking to GLORIFY GOD through their suffering. Imagine that. They have somehow been able to forgo wallowing in self pity and have instead turned their pain and trials into an opportunity to make Christ known. It's not about them--their problems, their hurt, their fears--even though there are days that I am sure it feels that way. Rather, it's all about God--clinging to His hesed, His promises, and desiring His ways above theirs. To me, they are the true heroes of the faith.



To hear the entire song that they wrote for their daughter, you can watch the video below. The lyrics are so amazing, so beautiful.


The other family are dear friends. Jordan, a good friend of Steven's from high school, his wife Katelyn, and their two beautiful young girls. Just last year, Jordan was diagnosed with a rare cancer in his pelvis and lungs. This is their blog. Their story. Their fight. Their faith in a miraculous God as they walk through this scary and uncertain time. It has been nothing short of amazing following them on their journey of highs and lows. They are real life examples of people living out 1 Peter 1:6-7.

"So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."

Just think. Because these families have remained strong and faithful through their pain and suffering, they will receive much praise, glory and honor from their Heavenly Father on that glorious day. Let me say it again. The Creator of heaven and earth. The Alpha and Omega. The holy and righteous God. The everlasting King. will. give. them. honor. and. praise.

That's the wonderful joy ahead. That's rejoicing in the midst suffering. That's the hope they have and so fervently cling to. All I can say is, praise God for families like these. For they show us how to suffer well. It is my prayer that I may be found, that we all may be found, as faithful as them.