more than lilies.

My God loves me more than lilies. Yesterday I was reminded of this.

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow...if that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:28,30-33

So there I was. Lying by the pool, in Florida, worrying. The exact thing Jesus tells me not to do, asking the exact same questions Jesus tells me I don't even need to ask.

If you read my previous post, it's no secret that I've been fearful and struggling through the idea of raising enough support/money to go to Thailand. Sometimes I let my mind get the best of me and the doubt inevitably sets in. Other times I am hopeful and I truly believe God will accomplish His will for us to go to Thailand. I guess, when I'm honest, this dream for us is just so very personal. So real. So raw. And that's what makes this so hard. It's so much a part of who I am that it's hard to not take everything so personal. When the rubber meets the road, I'm fearful that if people reject our dream of Thailand, they're essentially rejecting me.

I know this is wrong thinking. I know I have to change my perspective. I know that this will take time.

And so, I have good and bad days.

Yesterday started off as a bad day. Lying by the pool, in my self-doubt, faithless attitude, worrying again if the Lord really will provide...

And then it happened. God gives me a big reminder that I mean more to Him than lilies.

Up walks a man. A very friendly man. He strikes up a conversation with Steven and I and we quickly find out he's a Christian, as well as a gifted entrepreneur. Obviously, him and Steven hit it off immediately and away they went in their conversation. It's such a joy watching my husband talk so passionately about two things he loves.

I was encouraged.

The conversation switches, as the friendly man pulls up a chair, and asks us about our dream. "So what is it that you guys want to do?" I believe was his question. Fascinated that a complete stranger would be asking such a thing, we humbly tell him our story--how God brought us together, how God opened our eyes to His heart for the world, how long we've waited for this opportunity, and how excited we are to go to Thailand. It was probably more than he bargained for, but he listened intently.

I was grateful.

After we were done spewing out all that we could, this friendly man asked us another question. "So, how can we, my wife and I, help you guys out?"

Wait, excuse me, what? I couldn't believe it. Seriously. I wish I could have seen my face in that moment. I wonder if I looked shocked. Or touched. Or emotional. Or fascinated. Because I really felt all those things in that one moment. This complete stranger, that we randomly meet during our vacation in Florida, asks us about our dream and then asks how he can help it come true. Come on now, how crazy is that? How truly GOD is that?

I was in awe.

As we continued on in conversation and eventually parted ways, this friendly man promised he would pray for us when he swims his 22 laps in the pool every day. He took down our names and phone numbers and asked us to keep him up-to-date with our lives. He even invited us to come over to his house this week to meet and talk with his family.

I felt foolish.

How could I not? I felt so foolish for doubting. Foolish for having such little faith. Again.

As this man walked away, tears streamed down my face as I turned to Steven and said, "This is how our God works, isn't it." This wasn't coincidence. This was God. And I love it. I love how He miraculously reminds me that He's paying attention to my needs, no matter how little or foolish. I love how He's the One in control, orchestrating this all together for His purposes. I love how He doesn't give up on me in my bad days. I love that He allows me to experience His Word and promises unexpectedly by the poolside in Florida.

Yes, my God will clothe me. He will feed me. He will provide.

Yesterday started off as a bad day, but ended so completely refreshing. For I was reminded that if God clothes the grass of the field with lilies, which wither and die with each passing season, He will all the more care for me and His Kingdom work. For I am forever His beloved. His precious child He bought at such a high price.

Yes, I am more than lilies.